The first three months of having three children about killed me. I was mostly in survival mode, and I think I cried almost everyday, both in private and public. I'm glad to report that the past three weeks have been pretty normal, and I'm feeling back to myself. I can now say I enjoy being a mom again, because for a while I was pretty sure it was the worst job in the world, and way too hard for me to do. Along the way I still took pictures and still wrote things down so I could record them eventually. I think it was the combination of Hazel's tantrums, Hattie's curiosity, Niels' upset stomach, and my hormones that made everything so difficult.
My friend who just recently had her third child said that she felt like she was constantly putting fires out all day. I completely agree. I was just going from one thing to the next. Let me give you a scenario of one morning. We were headed somewhere, so while I was buckling Hazel's sandals Hattie was in my room. I went to put Hattie's sandals on and found that she had taken a small hole that we had in our bed sheets and ripped the entire sheet open. Then I left the room to pick up the baby because he was screaming. A few minutes later when I went back into my room, Hattie had pulled out every baby wipe we own and they were all over my room. I started cleaning those up while the baby was screaming and then I heard Hazel throwing a fit because she couldn't find some toy. When we finally got into the car I had to fight Hattie to buckle up. I remember wherever we went the kids were surprisingly good. When we came home I had to take a few trips in the house. As I came in I found Hattie standing in the toilet bowl with her shoes on. I had to take her out and throw her in the bathtub to clean her in a minute because the baby was now screaming needing to be fed. Then I heard Hazel scream from the bottom of the stairs that she peed her pants. I had to throw her in the tub too, and the baby was still screaming.
I felt like all my days were like this. For the first two months Niels was very fussy and gassy and spit up a ton. Hazel and Hattie both spit up a lot too, but they weren't fussy. There was one week where it was projectile, which was difficult. I had to change my clothes and his clothes a few times a day, even in the middle of the night.
Hattie was getting into everything all day long. If she wasn't in my site there was trouble. She drew on our social security cards, she drew on the cabinets, she spilled cheese, nuts, cereal, yeast, you name it. There were a few weeks where milk was spilled almost everyday between cereal bowls and cups. Hattie was in the fridge cracking eggs on the floor. I tried to get a shower one day when Niels was first born only to have Hazel tell me Hattie was on the baby. I jumped out of the shower to find Hattie on top of Niels in the bassinet.
Hattie has had a cold the entire summer. She is our walking germ, but I'm not surprised with everything she touches and eats. She drinks the water at the splash pad and picks up old snacks from other kids on the ground. Her favorite toy is the plunger. I have walked into the bathroom several times and she is playing with it. One day I walked away from the bathroom for a minute while Hazel and Hattie were in the tub and Hazel yelled to me that Hattie had the plunger in the tub. Gross! Because she is sick all the time. she has gotten us all sick including Niels. He is on his third cold already.
I think the worst messes have been Hattie's three poop incidents. We put her in her room for a nap and she took off her diaper and smeared it everywhere. The first time wasn't too bad, but the second time was terrible. Brendan was working both times and I had to clean it all up. It was smeared on the walls, lamps, bed, books, rug, rocking horse, shelves, it was even on her sippy cup and lips. It took a lot of time to sanitize and clean and I had to throw stuff away. Two days later it happened again. Brendan had scheduled me a pedicure because I had been through so much. He came home to watch the kids and put Hattie in her room for her nap. As I was leaving, I smelled it when I walked past her room. Luckily I went and got my pedicure while Brendan cleaned up the mess. We now put her in onesies when she goes down for a nap.
Hazel's biggest problems for me were her fits, fighting with Hattie, and not cleaning up any of her messes. She wouldn't even clean up the smallest messes. One day she told me she knew a way not to pick up her toys. She said, "Pray to Heavenly Father and ask him to be something that doesn't have to clean up, like a dog." She would constantly fight with Hattie. There would be hair pulling and biting. And it seemed like everything was such a big deal that she would throw a fit over it.
Brendan also was very busy with work and his calling. He had to stay the night at youth conference one night and another week he had to plan and attend scout camp for 4 days. My sister Breeze left for the summer and Brendan's mom went out of town twice, each time for about three weeks, so I didn't have help some days when I was at my wits end. On top of all this we had to have our house rewired because it was a fire hazard, so I had no electricity for like a week. We had extension cords going through the house to turn on a lamp and plug in burner. I had no kitchen lights for a month and other problems. Not to mention the workers coming in and out of my house.
With all that being said, I want to point out how much help I had from those around me, both strangers and friends. One day I was at Costco having a terrible experience and the baby was screaming and I was literally in tears leaving the store with the kids and I heard a voice from a man behind me say, "Mam, can I help you?" I didn't want to turn around because he would see me crying. He said it again and I briefly turned and said no, but thanks. I clearly did need help though. Then I finally made it to the car in tears and fed the baby. I left the empty shopping cart behind my car with our pizza still in it. I was sitting in the car feeding Niels when I heard a knock on my window. I rolled down my window and there was a pretty lady in her 50's asking me if I wanted my pizza. When she realized I was feeding my baby and was crying, she apologized for bothering me. I could barely make out words to tell her not to worry about my pizza. She asked me how old my baby was and how many kids I had. I told her and she said, "You're a good mom. It will get better" as she patted me on the back. She then had her daughter put the pizza in the back of the car and she put my cart away. After feeding the baby, I went to buckle him in the car seat and I heard, "Dana." When I turned around I saw my friend Tabitha coming towards me. I was super embarrassed to be crying. I told her I was having a bad day. She offered to help with my kids. She said she had some snacks for them. She was very willing to help me, but I was just trying to get home as soon as possible. Even though I was having such a hard day and feeling alone, as I was driving home I really felt that Heavenly Father was aware of me and there were people around me to help.
Another time I was at Winco just with Niels and he was fussy and crying while I was in line. A girl from my ward, who I had just talked to for the first time a few days ago in the mother's lounge, came up and asked if she could hold my baby or unload my groceries. I had her unload my groceries on the conveyor belt and then she bagged all of them too. I was at Sprouts another day shopping and I saw another girl from my ward and she asked if I needed any help. Another day I was at the pool with the kids after Hazel's swim lessons and they wanted to play in the water and Niels was sleeping in his stroller. I needed to be in the water with them, but didn't want to wake Niels. I saw a lady from my old ward who was sitting in the shade and asked if she would watch Niels while I played with the girls. She was there watching her grandkids and said she would love too. I feel like I never run into people at the store and around town, but during this hard time, where I felt like I could hardly accomplish my normal tasks, there were people everywhere. After these experiences, it has really made me want to try and be aware of others around me that may need help.
Well I'm pretty sure this is my longest post ever, and I don't even think people check out my blog anymore, but it's for my own memory keeping anyway.
